How to become a Great Communicator

These are excerpts from a Fred Pryor seminar called 'How to become a Great Communicator'.

When communicating face to face:
Body language makes up 55% of communication
Tone of voice - 38%
Words - 7%

For those who are virtual or using the phone:
Tone of voice makes up 80% of communication
Words - 20%

KEY POINTS

1. There are four main behavioral styles -- Relator, Socializer, Thinker, and Director. Relators and Socializers are open, while Thinkers and Directors are self-contained. Thinkers and Relators are slow-paced, and Directors and Socializers are fast-paced. When relating with a person from a different behavioral style, it is important to mirror their style. By developing the weaker parts of your own personality, you will gain flexibility in relating to colleagues and family members.

2. When dealing with difficult people or situations, it is important to assess the situation and view it objectively. Do the benefits of change outweigh the costs of putting up with the current situation? If you decide to make a change, formulate a plan before you approach the other person. Be prepared to be flexible and to ask for their feedback in designing solutions.

3. Whenever you meet someone new, you have one to four minutes in which to make a positive first impression. There are four main things to think about - your physical appearance, your voice quality, the topics you talk about, and how well you listen. It is also important to give a confident handshake, keeping direct eye contact.

4. In working a room, do not be afraid of small talk. Approach a group of three or more people, nodding as you approach to signal that you would like to be included. Try to circulate to several groups of people, rather than staying with one group for the whole event. Ask people about their favorite subject - themselves!

5. Negotiation skills are critical in almost everything we do. We negotiate with managers for better deadlines or better projects. We negotiate with family members about household chores or using the computer. The qualities of a successful negotiator include self-confidence, the willingness to ask for what you want, a win-win attitude, and willingness to practice.